another moral hangover. fuck.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
