Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
