sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
