Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
