dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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