There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
