Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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