omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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