i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
