Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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