Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize