the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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