i think my mom watched the whole time
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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