is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
