dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
