maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
