I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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