I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
