You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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