He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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