Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
