i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
