I smell stomach acid.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
