stop calling my apartment porn island.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
