Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
