Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
