You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
