Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
