; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
