I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
