I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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