You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
