If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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