Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
