Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
