I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
