He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want to have your abortion
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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