I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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