Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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