five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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