i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Redeem this text for a blowjob
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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