Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
