a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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