Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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