He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
