I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
