fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
