I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
