i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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