For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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